Anxiety
For many years I was ashamed of myself. Seriously, I thought there was something wrong with me. The sad thing was my family confirmed rather than disputed my low opinion of myself.
Now I choose to believe they didn't mean to. It was how they were brought up. They didn't live in a culture that questioned whether the way they did things or thought would lead to an authentically happy or emotionally literate life. They were just trying to survive.
I've spent a lot of time in therapy. Have been on antidepressants. And have tried all manners of things to calm the shaky voice inside. She who gets overwhelmed when I get under too much strain.
I have three warning bells; my sleep ( waking up and not being able to get back to sleep) I'm snappy and impatient and I hear myself saying I "can't stand this or that."
Over here rather than over there
Our mental health is important. Yet we are given few skills to understand how our minds work and what to do if they are going over here instead of over there.
Perhaps we've used alcohol, drugs, sex, shopping, gambling, food, work and all manner of things that are distractions to keep the dark wolves at bay.
The best piece of advice I can give you...is the knowledge that anxiety is the human condition. We are wired for survival. Happy takes work.
When we don't feel safe our inner "fire alarm" is going off constantly.
Anxiety is an alarm that never shuts off. You might not consciously hear it. But it’s still going off in the background. Constant anxiety inflames the brain and eventually, it shuts down and can lead to depression.
The difference between people who function well and don't get overwhelmed by their anxiety, and the rest of us is that they have skills to shut down the ANTS...Automatic Negative Thinking...
Then there are drugs...
Medications do a wonderful job of changing the way chemicals interact in our brains, to stop the ANTs.
But they have side effects. For some people the side effects are worth it. Some anxiety and depressive disorders are so challenging that medication is necessary and life-saving.
A few months ago I was struggling to sleep. My digestive system was grumpy and I needed a break. So my doc asked me if I wanted to try a small dose of Prozac.
I started sleeping like a baby.
The hard edges in my thinking softened and it gave me some much-needed relief from the ANTs.
It also interfered with my ability to think, recall words and write.
So I went off the stuff.
I want to retain my brain. I want it to work. So I'm going on a thirty-day challenge to "improve my mood". I'm creating a daily practice using the skills and tools I know of now and will uncover to help me sleep better, feel better and think better.
If you are interested in following my process, I'll be on Instagram every morning sharing a practice, technique or skill that I'm exploring to help improve my mental health.
I want to challenge the stigma that there's something wrong with us if we suffer from anxiety.
If you want to join me and share what you do ( the more information the better), you can follow me on Instagram @heatherdennismethod or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theheatherdennismethod
We claim our power when we stop pretending we've got it all together all the time.
Collectively, as women, we have the answers and wisdom to help and support one another.
xo
Heather